The facts are These:
In the Fall of 2011 I was very pregnant causing me to wish more for clothes i could not wear than ever before. The magazines were filled with beautiful floor length skirts of all colors and transparencies. I just knew in my heart I had to change my entire wardrobe to floor skimming dresses and skirts. I had basically banished pants and jeans from my entire pregnancy wardrobe due to the low self esteem it was causing from not being able to fit anything over my expanding back end as well as fear of my baby coming flying out at any moment and me, for some strange reason not being able to pull my pants off quickly enough for it to fly out with ease (i am aware this was a ridiculous thought). I went off in search for my new fancy preggers wardrobe. I started of course in the fabulous high-waisted sheer selection of these floor length skirts because they looked so romantic and whimsical on the hanger. I was convinced it would give me the glow I had been searching for my entire pregnancy. My dreams of whimsically floating around in a floor skimming skirt like the Mother Earth image in my head were very quickly diminished when I tried on my favorite skirt pick with no elastic an XXL, and it wouldn't even come over my thighs. *Lightbulb* I then tried to pull the very gorgeous skirt over my head which still did not get me very far as it stopped at the top of my now G -cup boobs.
I refused to give up! I went on to find some what seemed to be perfect cotton floor length skirts and dresses with a good bit of stretch( at H&M and Nordstrom) and I made sure to grab them from the plus size section to ensure everything would fit. I was exhausted by the time I discovered my purchases and just decided to try them on at home. After about four good naps I was ready to try on my new wardrobe. I showed my mom my new wares and explained to her my vision. I even held the clothes up in front of me and demonstrated how I was so happy to find such perfect ground skimming specimens of clothing i could float around in during my pregnancy. First I put on the skirt WTF my ass was so big the skirt came an awkward height off the ground that barely showed my ankles and the dresses were worse because they were filled not only by gargantuan butt cheeks but also by knockers the size of those weighted basketballs you find at the gym. I then began to cry and took up cutting out pictures of my perfect floor length sheer skirts to look at and wish for.
Fast Forward many moons and a whole year old baby later, I was enjoying myself at the Two Point Oh LA annual picnic held at the chic Isis Living in Glendale, CA when i entered a contest with one of my favorite online shopping hubs Lulu's and was given free choice of an item on their rack. There it was, waiting for me, calling to me, my new favorite sheer floor length skirt. It is finally mine and I am now again feeling infinitely chic. Thank You Lulu's and Two Point Oh LA for making my sheer skirted dreams of fashion come to fruition.
Am I the only nerd who dreams of skirts for years at a time? Perhaps if I spent more of that time trying to conjure up a boyfriend ... Skirts are less drama though.
photos by Bri'Nicole x iZbyA.com
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